| how to show the child an activity |

Slow
Hands
Omit
Words

(...) if we explain with words at the same time, our toddler isn't sure whether to listen to us or watch us— so we stay quite so they can focus on our movements without words.

GENERAL PRINCIPLES TO KEEP IN MIND

1. let the child lead.

let them take the time to choose for themselfs rather than suggesting or leading the play.

2. let them work with the activity as long as they like.

ideally, we don't interrupt our child's deep focus. A simple comment from us can distract them from whatever they are working to master, and they may abandon the activity completely. wait until they look to us for feedback, step in to offer help when they are frustrated, or see that they have finished beofre we make a request (...).

3. avoid quizzing the child.

we may not realize we are doing it, but we are constantly quizzing our children. "what color is this?" "how many apples am i holding?" "can you show grandma how you can walk?"

(...) often i'd ask him to demonstrate some new skill or perform some new trick on cue. maybe to show off in some way. or maybe to push him to learn a little faster.

now i see that this prompting is a kind of test for a child. and there is generally only one correct answer, so if the answer they give is wrong, we have no other option than to say. "no, that flower is yellow, not blue." not exactly great for building a child's confidence.

instead we can continue to name things, ask questions to arouse curiosity, and use observation to see what the child has mastered and what they are still practicing.

now, the only time i will quiz a child is if i am 1000% sure they know the answer and will be excited to tell me. (...)

4. put the activity away when finished.

emphasize that there is a beginning, middle, and end to a task.

with young toddlers, we can first model where things belong and introduce putting things back as the last part of the activity. we can then start to work together with our child to bring things back to the shelf—they might carry one part and we carry the other. then we can scaffold onto this base by encouraging them to put it back by themselfs, for example, tappin gthe shelf where it belongs. gradually we will see them put things away more and more by themselves.

(...)

if they have moved on to the next activity, i do not generally break their concentration. isntead i put away the activity myself, modeling for the child what to do the next time.

5. model, model, model.

6.allow any use of the materials, but stop when they're used inappropriately.

if they are not harming the materials, themselves, or someone else, then there is no need to interrupt them.we could perhaps make a mental note to show them its purpose at another time.

(...) if the child is using the objects inappropriately, we may gently step in. [and redirect!]

7. modify to meet their level.

8. arrange the activities on shelves form easiest to hardest.

(...) from left to right if they find an activity too difficult, they can move back to the earlier activity.

9. use that is available

10. be careful with small parts and sharp objects.

we don't need to hover—yet we keep observing in a calm way to make sure they are using the items in a safe way.


HOW TO SET UP AN ACTIVITY

left to right, easiest to hardest along shelf. at child's height

1. display it on as shelf

2. make it attractive ---sometimes changing the tray can make it more appealing.

3. show what belongs together

4. prepare everything so our child can help themselves

5. undo the activity.


TIPS:

-put only as much as we want to clean up
-have cleaning supplies at the ready
-focus on the process, not the result. when the child helps, the task will take longer and the result may not look perfect, but the child is leaning to master these skills (..)
-look for ways the child can help.

***

Davies, S. (2019). The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being. New York, NY: Workman Publishing Co., Inc.