PRACTICE PRESENCE
[about] OBSERVATION
remove our judgment of the situation, which stops us from being triggered by our child's behaviour, and allows us to respond rather than react. (instead of "they are always dropping their bowl on the floor," we observe, "the bowl dropped onto the floor.")
really see our child objectively with fresh eyes.
be more present a notice more details about our child and the world around us
connect with our child as we see things from their perspective and gain a greater understanding of them.
if we are feeling wound up, we can grab a notebook and observe. if we have our hands full, we can try to observe without writing it down. stay away from analysis, and enjoy the present moment observing our child.
FILL OUR EMOTIONAL BUCKET AND OUR CHILD'S
SLOW DOWN
BE THE CHILD'S GUIDE
the biggest takeaway for me was realizing that my role as a parent is. not to rush in to solve every problem for my children. rather, we can be there to support them, be their sounding board, or be their safe place to release whatever frustrations they have had in their day.
a guide:
gives space for the child to work it out for themselves.
is available when needed
is respectful, kind, and clear.
will help a child take responsibility when needed
will provide a safe, rich environment to explore
listens
responds rather than reacts.
we don't need to be a boss giving them orders, directing them, or teaching them everything they need to learn. and we don't need to be their servant doing everything for them.
we can simply be their guide.
BE HONEST
our children learn more from watching us than from us telling them how to behave. so we want to model honesty with our children. we want them to learn that being truthful is an important value in our home. no white lies.
TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR OUR LIFE AND CHOICES
we can also model accepting responsibility for our choices to our children, commenting out loud when we run into a frustrating problem. "the train is late again! i'm grateful to live in a city with public transportation, but i'm not feeling very patient today. next time we could leave earlier."
every time we say "should," we can think about whether it's important to us. otherwise we can be creative and change it. and for the things we cannot change, we can see these as opportunities to be creative.
LEARN FROM OUR MISTAKES
CELEBRATE WHERE WE ARE
we can be so busy trying to improve things that we forget to reflect on the present. i know that i forget to acknowledge and accept where i am right now while i am striving to learn more and be a better model for my child.
we often forget to say to ourselves, we are enough. we are doing our best.
i like to imagine that we are all full glasses of water. rather than looking to others to fill our galss— our partner, our children, our work—we are jull just as we are.
that gives me a huge sense of relief. it doesn't mean that i will stop learning and stop improving, but i feel okay with who i am today. the means i feel like i can be more to those in my life, including my children.
i also like to think of our toddlers as full glasses. they are doing the best they can in their little bodies where they are today. we can support them without being frustrated by them or angry with them.
SELF-AWARENESS
we need to recognize when our limits are about to be tested and find a way to assert our limits.
when we find ourselves being triggered, we can observe ourselves. are we taking on our child's problem?
KEEP PRACTICING
"the child developing harmoniously and the adult improving himself at his side make a very exciting and attractive picture... this is the treasure we need today—helping the child become independent of us and make his way by himself and receiving in return his gifts of hope and light." —dra. maria montessori, education and peace.
***
Davies, S. (2019). The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being. New York, NY: Workman Publishing Co., Inc.
[about] OBSERVATION
remove our judgment of the situation, which stops us from being triggered by our child's behaviour, and allows us to respond rather than react. (instead of "they are always dropping their bowl on the floor," we observe, "the bowl dropped onto the floor.")
really see our child objectively with fresh eyes.
be more present a notice more details about our child and the world around us
connect with our child as we see things from their perspective and gain a greater understanding of them.
if we are feeling wound up, we can grab a notebook and observe. if we have our hands full, we can try to observe without writing it down. stay away from analysis, and enjoy the present moment observing our child.
FILL OUR EMOTIONAL BUCKET AND OUR CHILD'S
SLOW DOWN
BE THE CHILD'S GUIDE
the biggest takeaway for me was realizing that my role as a parent is. not to rush in to solve every problem for my children. rather, we can be there to support them, be their sounding board, or be their safe place to release whatever frustrations they have had in their day.
a guide:
gives space for the child to work it out for themselves.
is available when needed
is respectful, kind, and clear.
will help a child take responsibility when needed
will provide a safe, rich environment to explore
listens
responds rather than reacts.
we don't need to be a boss giving them orders, directing them, or teaching them everything they need to learn. and we don't need to be their servant doing everything for them.
we can simply be their guide.
BE HONEST
our children learn more from watching us than from us telling them how to behave. so we want to model honesty with our children. we want them to learn that being truthful is an important value in our home. no white lies.
TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR OUR LIFE AND CHOICES
we can also model accepting responsibility for our choices to our children, commenting out loud when we run into a frustrating problem. "the train is late again! i'm grateful to live in a city with public transportation, but i'm not feeling very patient today. next time we could leave earlier."
every time we say "should," we can think about whether it's important to us. otherwise we can be creative and change it. and for the things we cannot change, we can see these as opportunities to be creative.
LEARN FROM OUR MISTAKES
CELEBRATE WHERE WE ARE
we can be so busy trying to improve things that we forget to reflect on the present. i know that i forget to acknowledge and accept where i am right now while i am striving to learn more and be a better model for my child.
we often forget to say to ourselves, we are enough. we are doing our best.
i like to imagine that we are all full glasses of water. rather than looking to others to fill our galss— our partner, our children, our work—we are jull just as we are.
that gives me a huge sense of relief. it doesn't mean that i will stop learning and stop improving, but i feel okay with who i am today. the means i feel like i can be more to those in my life, including my children.
i also like to think of our toddlers as full glasses. they are doing the best they can in their little bodies where they are today. we can support them without being frustrated by them or angry with them.
SELF-AWARENESS
we need to recognize when our limits are about to be tested and find a way to assert our limits.
when we find ourselves being triggered, we can observe ourselves. are we taking on our child's problem?
KEEP PRACTICING
"the child developing harmoniously and the adult improving himself at his side make a very exciting and attractive picture... this is the treasure we need today—helping the child become independent of us and make his way by himself and receiving in return his gifts of hope and light." —dra. maria montessori, education and peace.
***
Davies, S. (2019). The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being. New York, NY: Workman Publishing Co., Inc.
